i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
