Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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