You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize