I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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