Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
