I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
