someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
