to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
