i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
