Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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