Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Randomize