what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
