where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
