i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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