piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize