My nipple is on Facebook.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
