so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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