why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
