Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
