There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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