i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
