Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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