I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
