I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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