soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize