I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
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