i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
