i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
