ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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