i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
