get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
did i walk over a car last night?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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