All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize