Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
