ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
