hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
