Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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