Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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