White coat. Heels.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
