i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize