she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize