That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
