My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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