fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
