Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Houston, we have a squirter
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
