I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
