she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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