I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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