Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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