He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Randomize
