Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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