i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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