Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
