i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
