so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
