Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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