Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
