Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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