please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
