Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
